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Posts Tagged ‘inner life’

Learning to listen to what has been quietly speaking all along.

I believe most of us carry a quiet knowing within us.

We often know when something isn’t right.

We know when we’re living out of alignment with who we are.

We know when a relationship needs our attention.

We know when we are tired of pretending.

We know when something needs to change.

And sometimes, we even know what we want.

But knowing and asking are two different things.

Because asking the question can be frightening.

What if the answer changes everything?

What if I ask myself whether I’m actually happy?

What if I ask myself whether this life is the life I want?

What if I ask what I’m afraid of?

What if I ask what I really believe?

What if I ask what I’m here to do?

What if I ask what I want my children to remember about me?

What if I ask what I want to leave behind?

Sometimes we avoid the questions because, somewhere inside us, we suspect we already know the answer.

So we stay busy.

We keep moving.

We take care of everyone else.

We fill the silence.

We scroll.

We work.

We plan.

We accomplish.

And we become very good at not stopping long enough to listen.

But there is something powerful about becoming quiet enough to ask.

Not because there is one perfect path waiting to be discovered.

But because questions create space.

They invite us inward.

They help us notice what we may have been too distracted, too conditioned, or too afraid to see.

I don’t think a life well lived is necessarily a life with everything figured out.

I think it may be a life in which we become increasingly willing to be honest with ourselves.

To ask better questions.

To sit with uncomfortable aswers.

To change when something no longer fits.

To become more conscious of how we are living—and what our living is creating.

Because perhaps the wisdom we’re searching for isn’t always somewhere outside of us.

Perhaps some of it has been quietly waiting within us all along.

The question is:

What have you been afraid to ask yourself?

And what might become possible if you finally did?

This is where a life well lived begins.

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A Nurturing Spirit reflection on the unseen work of becoming.

There is something about a tree that feels like a picture of the human life.

We tend to notice what happens above the ground. We see the height of the tree, the shape of its branches, the green of its leaves, and eventually the fruit it produces. We can see the evidence of growth, and we call that growth.

But a tree is growing in two directions at once.

Long before its branches reach toward the sky, it’s roots are pressing downward into the soil. They move into darkness. They encounter resistance. They find hard ground, move around obstacles, and slowly establish the foundation that will eventually support everything we see above the surface.

And most of that work is invisible.

We rarely thing about the roots when we admire the tree. We do not stand beneath a tree and celebrate how much effort went into its unseen growth. We simply enjoy the shade. We admire the beauty. We wait for the fruit.

Perhaps we do the same thing with our own lives.

We want the visible evidence. We want to know that our work is paying off. We want the answer, the breakthrough, the finished product, the beautiful harvest.

But some of the most important seasons of our lives do not look like growth at all.

They can feel like being buried.

There are seasons when we are doing the quiet work of becoming without much recognition. We may be learning patience. Rebuilding something that was broken. Letting go of an old way of living. Developing strength. Becoming more honest about what matters. Learning to trust when we cannot yet see where the path is leading.

And sometimes that work happens alone.

There may be no applause for it. No one may know how hard it is. There may be no obvious evidence that anything is changing.

But hidden does not mean inactive.

The seed beneath the soil is not failing because we cannot see it. The roots are not wasting their time because they are growing in the dark.

They are preparing the tree for what comes next.

I think this is something worth remembering when life feels slow or uncertain: not every seasons is meant to produce visible fruit.

Some seasons are for putting down roots.

And roots take time.

They grow downward before they can fully support what grows upward. They create a foundation before there is anything impressive to look at.

So if you are in a season that feels hidden, resist the temptation to assume that nothing is happening.

Maybe you are not buried.

Maybe you are being rooted.

Maybe the unseen work you are doing now is preparing you for a life that will eventually have more room to grow—upward, outward, and toward the light.

And when the fruit finally comes, perhaps we will understand that the harvest was never the whole story.

The roots were part of the story too.

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What to do when the life you knew no longer fits, but the life you’re becoming hasn’t taken shape yet.

There is a particular kind of uncertainty that doesn’t feel like failure.

It feels more like standing at a threshold.

You know you aren’t who you used to be. But you aren’t quite sure who you’re becoming.

The things that once felt certain ma not feel certain anymore.

You may find yourself asking questions you didn’t expect to ask:

Is this really the life I want?
Who am I when I’m not trying to become what everyone else expects?
What do I actually believe?
What matters to me now?
What am I willing to leave behind?

And perhaps the most uncomfortable question: What if I don’t know yet?

We live in a culture that is remarkably uncomfortable with that answer.

We are encouraged to have a five-year plan. To know our purpose. To build the career. Choose the relationship. Buy the house. Start the business. Become the person.

And there is nothing wrong with any of those things.

But sometimes the most important work happening in our lives cannot be seen yet.

Sometimes we are becoming before we are building.

Sometimes something in us has already changed, while the outside of our life hasn’t caught up.

That space can feel disorienting.

But it isn’t necessarily a problem to solve.

It may be a space to inhabit.

There is also a wisdom that only becomes available when we stop demanding immediate answers from ourselves.

We begin to notice what keeps returning. The desire we keep dismissing. The question we can’t quite shake. The kind of person we admire. The things that leave us feeling more alive. The things that quietly drain us.

The values we say matter—and the ones our lives actually demostrates.

This is where the sacred pause becomes more than rest.

It becomes attention.

And attention changes things.

Because when we stop rushing to fill the empty space, we begin to hear what the empty space is saying.

Maybe you aren’t behind. Maybe you aren’t lost. Maybe you haven’t missed your moment.

Maybe you’re standing in the space between one version of your life and another.

And maybe the invitation isn’t to know exactly where you’re going.

Maybe the invitation is simply to become honest enough to take the next step when it appears.

You don’t have to have your whole life figured out.

You just have to become willing to listen.

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