There have been a lot of posts going around on the internet lately about young girls dressing modestly. Mostly I feel dressing modestly is not a terrible thing, and all people have a right to dress how they want. This is not the case in other countries where women do not have any or many rights though. But here in the Western world much of anything goes it seems. In the past, I have spent my time wearing bikinis and crop tops. I do see the body as a gift. A temple. A holy place that houses my spirit. Am I a bit different now as a woman than I was as a child? Yes. I have riden the wave of confidence and shame.
Mostly, I want to address what it is like for me to raise boys, to meditate on the sacred masculine and the sacred feminine in these times we are living. After I began having children, boys in particular it became apparent that I have a huge responsibility. I have chosen to look at history, to listen to the Ancestors and to learn from many cultures. To me this is the proper way to assess the world that we live in today. I do not Just want to take from that which is around me, because I know full well there is so much more out there. I want to be Awake and live multi-dimensionally.
It has taken me some time to learn about the power I possess as a woman, and to learn about sacred union, men and boys and family culture. What I will not teach my boys is that girls and how they dress are stumbling blocks for their soul and development. Do I love what the stores are selling to young girls and women. No, I do not. If I had a girl child would I dress her in the clothes that these popular stores are selling. No. This is in line with how I dress my boys. I prefer non-brand or non-logo clothing. Do I believe in self-expression. Yes, I do. I allow for freedom, but I am also a guide and protector of my children’s senses till they have developed their thinking brains more fully.
Here is what I will teach my boys. I will teach them they have the power within them for all things. I will teach them that the way a woman or a girl dresses is not a stumbling block for their behavior and how they may treat women. I do not believe Jesus created women as stumbling blocks for men. And if you do not know what I mean about stumbling blocks, I mean lust. We all have lust in us, at the basest parts of our souls. At the most primitive, Kundalini depths lust lies. It is in teaching my boys to raise that vibration from low and baser vibrations to higher soulful love will they understand their power. There are different types of love, but this is not a post for that topic.
Teaching our young men and women that Christ or G-d thinks these things about them is taking their power away. Too many times I have been in spiritual communities where I have been taught things and I allowed those teachings to drain my power. I gave my Power away. By power I mean my medicine. My gifts. Gifts and wisdom I bring to this world that G-d endowed me with when I passed from the Spirit realm to this physical world.
I will not allow my children to grow up to misunderstand and I will also leave a place for wonder and for them to form their own thoughts. It is not religion that I have a problem with, it is the language and interpreters that are miscommunicating to The People. I Love and embrace many cultures. I learn from the many cultures a more whole perspective. It was through the Native American tradition that I came to better understand many things, we are living on Turtle Island after all. The Ancestors that dwelled on these lands were indigenous, civilized, loving, respectful people. I do chose however to walk the walk of the Christian model and to teach my children this language as well and those ways. It is nice to have a model to help us form the formless that comes from within us, and to also have some time to take the form and allow it to flow formlessly. Transformation. Transmutation. I feel it and I can see it, there are pictures in my heart.
There is such a practice as Prayerful Parenting. Am I a Master at Prayerful Parenting? No, not even close. Do I pray on my knees often and then open myself up to what comes? A lot. Am I prayerful while I am living the mundane life that we are walking day-to-day. I do try to keep it in mind and heart. When I wash dishes, when I am changing the baby’s diaper, when I am engaging on Facebook with friends or my home school community. Prayerful Living has helped to guide me through the Great Mystery of home educating my children. As hard and rewarding as it is I Love teaching my boys at home. And I believe they love it too. Do we have fights, yell, miscommunicate? Yes, it does happen. But, I am positive it also happens to many other families walking all the other different paths.
My path is raising boys. Three of them. They are beautiful, unique, clever, introverted, extroverted, sensory seeking, sensory avoiding, creative, loud, dirty, loving, wild and quiet. They are exactly what this world needs. They came here in this time and so did I because we were needed. I will not teach my boys what it takes to avoid lust and that it is a girls fault if he has lusty thoughts. No, I will teach him that his power comes from within, where G-d lives. I will not take his power away from him. I will be with him, guide him and love him fiercely.
What will happen in the future? Will my boys grow up perfectly and not make mistakes? No and yes. They are perfectly imperfect as am I. And I wish I knew all of this when I was struggling to raise two boys 21 months apart years ago. I did not realize I was an introvert by nature those few years ago, or that might have helped me in my daily journey. Nor did I know I was an empath, or highly sensitive. Nor did I know about temperaments. Nor did I know much about the brain and the body and how it is all So connected. But I do now. I don’t know it all, and never will. I just know my Path. I know I spent much of my time alone, cursing myself, or living like a melancholic. It was easier for me to point out all of my personal mistakes in parenting, even though I didn’t know any better, than it was to point out to myself that I was a good, and loving mother. It is Much harder to love ourselves and to love each other than it is to let go of the all the hard and messy relations in life.
I know now that Mother/Father G-d has plans for me as he/she has had all along. It is easy to be distracted in this modern world, and busy, or extroverted is honored a little more than slow living. But, for now we try our best to live a little slower, more intentional. We fail though on a daily basis, but this brings us closer to each other, it teaches us unconditional love, it helps us understand our higher potential.
So I will say it a different way here. To say that girls or women are dressing in a way that is a stumbling block for boys and men is to say that males do not need to do their inner work and that it is the outer world that determines all. No, I do not think so. This belief is taking their power away. It is saying, no you don’t need to do your inner work first. It is saying others are responsible for your actions. That is Not how the world works. It is time we take our power and responsiblity back as parents and teach our boys they also have the same power. We can be weak as humans and I do believe I need G-d, but G-d is within me. It is up to me to meet with G-d as often as I can and honestly I do not believe I am separate from G-d ever. I believe the spiritual and the physical realms co-exist.
Source Loves Us. Sources does not intend for us to be stumbling blocks for each other, but this outer experience happens all the time. For example, have I allowed media to get in the way of me parenting, perhaps and yes. Should I get off this blog and go be with my children. Maybe. Do I need to write and express myself to feed my soul? Yes I do. Not because I am feeding my Ego, as I have been told by people I trust, but to contribute my form of art to The People. Even though it may only reach 40 people. Numbers do not matter.
Planting seeds in others hearts is work for G-d, not me. When things outside of myself tend to get in the way a little more than I care to admit, I hear the quiet whisperings of Creator beckon me to a place. A place of peace. A place I have created while living and that was created before I came along, Within myself. This “place” is where I swim in Love. It is a place where I am nurtured, and then I take that nurturing and give it to others. We all have what we need. But sometimes we need to give it away to others as well, because our cup is full. There is balance here. The giving and the receiving. The Elders call it Reciprocity.
I will not tell you all my spiritual name, nor will I tell you my children’s or husbands spiritual name, although I use nicknames on the blog. But I will tell you my middle given name I go by. Nichole. This name is no coincidence. It means Victorious Heart. There was a time in Ceremony a few years ago that I felt and saw G-d cleanse my heart and drop one tear on me. I felt that tear from G-d and what an honor it was to receive. My heart was replaced then. Renewed. I allowed my self to step more fully into my heart, and to honor why we have Ego to begin with as well, because I also believe the Ego is greatly misunderstood.
Despite what others think, I am teachable. So if you have something for me, I will listen. I am not set on this view forever. Some new truth may alter or shine light where there is darkness. I am open.
So to tie up all these threads into a garment I want to say thank you for following this story. I need to get off of here and get back to raising boys. There is Gratitude and Trust that I am being led. I am writing this for myself and for whoever decides to read it. It is an offering that I leave on the table. If this offering speaks to you, please take it as a gift. If it does not speak to you, then leave it for someone else.
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Nurturing Spirit 