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Posts Tagged ‘death’

And so here you are led.  Serendipity.  If you are reading this I have a message for you.  The message was for myself as well, and so I share it with you.

 

“For me, trees have always been the most penetrating preachers. I revere them when they live in tribes and families, in forests and groves. And even more I revere them when they stand alone. They are like lonely persons. Not like hermits who have stolen away out of some weakness, but like great, solitary men, like Beethoven and Nietzsche. In their highest boughs the world rustles, their roots rest in infinity; but they do not lose themselves there, they struggle with all the force of their lives for one thing only: to fulfil themselves according to their own laws, to build up their own form, to represent themselves. Nothing is holier, nothing is more exemplary than a beautiful, strong tree. When a tree is cut down and reveals its naked death-wound to the sun, one can read its whole history in the luminous, inscribed disk of its trunk: in the rings of its years, its scars, all the struggle, all the suffering, all the sickness, all the happiness and prosperity stand truly written, the narrow years and the luxurious years, the attacks withstood, the storms endured. And every young farmboy knows that the hardest and noblest wood has the narrowest rings, that high on the mountains and in continuing danger the most indestructible, the strongest, the ideal trees grow.

Trees are sanctuaries. Whoever knows how to speak to them, whoever knows how to listen to them, can learn the truth. They do not preach learning and precepts, they preach, undeterred by particulars, the ancient law of life.

A tree says: A kernel is hidden in me, a spark, a thought, I am life from eternal life. The attempt and the risk that the eternal mother took with me is unique, unique the form and veins of my skin, unique the smallest play of leaves in my branches and the smallest scar on my bark. I was made to form and reveal the eternal in my smallest special detail.

A tree says: My strength is trust. I know nothing about my fathers, I know nothing about the thousand children that every year spring out of me. I live out the secret of my seed to the very end, and I care for nothing else. I trust that God is in me. I trust that my labor is holy. Out of this trust I live.

When we are stricken and cannot bear our lives any longer, then a tree has something to say to us: Be still! Be still! Look at me! Life is not easy, life is not difficult. Those are childish thoughts. Let God speak within you, and your thoughts will grow silent. You are anxious because your path leads away from mother and home. But every step and every day lead you back again to the mother. Home is neither here nor there. Home is within you, or home is nowhere at all.

A longing to wander tears my heart when I hear trees rustling in the wind at evening. If one listens to them silently for a long time, this longing reveals its kernel, its meaning. It is not so much a matter of escaping from one’s suffering, though it may seem to be so. It is a longing for home, for a memory of the mother, for new metaphors for life. It leads home. Every path leads homeward, every step is birth, every step is death, every grave is mother.

So the tree rustles in the evening, when we stand uneasy before our own childish thoughts: Trees have long thoughts, long-breathing and restful, just as they have longer lives than ours. They are wiser than we are, as long as we do not listen to them. But when we have learned how to listen to trees, then the brevity and the quickness and the childlike hastiness of our thoughts achieve an incomparable joy. Whoever has learned how to listen to trees no longer wants to be a tree. He wants to be nothing except what he is. That is home. That is happiness.”

Hermann Hesse, Bäume. Betrachtungen und Gedichte

 

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I am a fan of preparation.  There is ritual in preparation and that is ceremonial to me.  Life is Ceremony.  Many people speak about praying and I believe in Walking in Prayer.  To do this one must not believe that the Spirit world is separate from the Physical world.  This is much like saying The Kingdom of Heaven is Near.  It is. Jesus was right.  And from what I have learned across cultures, time and space, many people are saying the same things.  When the Holy Spirit descends upon a person they take into them the ability to understand the many languages of the world.  At one point in time that was taken away, because of the actions of mankind.  We have to come full circle.  To come full circle means to descend from G-d and to return to G-d.  Are you home?

We are born, and descend, just like we come out usually head first from our mother’s wombs and return as Elder’s again leaving from our toes to our head back to Creator, dropping our robe.  I have spent time working as a volunteer with Hospice, 11th Hour patients.  One day I was called to a nursing home in a nearby town. When I arrived family was there with the Elder woman.  I could tell she was ready to leave this world, but her family loved her so much they anchored her down earthside.  As it became dinner time, the family decided to leave and eat.  I began my work as Creator has guided me in helping the woman to relax.  She was unconscious, but very much aware.  I felt her leave from her toes to her head.  Her Spirit drew up out of her body and left.  It was one of the most peaceful deaths I have Witnessed.  I am not particularly good at letting people go.  Actually I am quite selfish in these regards.  But, I have a gift, and Creator needed me.  It’s not always easy.  Professionally I can do this, personally I have much to learn.  It really has to do with my higher and lower selves.

Preparation.  It is almost that time.  I feel myself drawing inward.  I feel Creator asking me to quiet myself.  This is hard because a majority of my homeschool community (read: support) is online, but I feel the need to quiet there too.  I am beginning preparation now for many things.  I am preparing to teach two grades again.  I am preparing to evolve my writing and blog.

Today begins Baptism class for my oldest son.  The church makes a good point that these children and people are preparing themselves to be cleansed with Holy Water.  Washed new.  We as the congregation must prepare alongside.  I am exicted and curious at the Mysteries G-d has for us this season.

Ash Wednesday is in a few days.  I envision the palm leaves burnt and marking my forehead.  I am already marked.  I envision myself walking in my human robe quietly awaiting.  I await G-d.  Listening.  G-d is here.

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